Ingin MencintaiMu setulusnya

Tuhan betapa aku malu
atas semua yang kau beri
padahal diriku terlalu sering
membuatMu kecewa
entah mungkin kerna ku terlena
sementara Engkau beri aku kesempatan berulang kali
agar aku kembali
dalam fitrahku sebagai manusia untuk menghambakanMu

betapa tak a...da apa-apanya aku dihadapanMu
aku ingin mencintaiMu setulusnya
sebenar-benar aku cinta

dalam do'a dalam ucapan dalam setiap langkahku
aku ingin mendekatiMu selamanya

sehina apapun diriku

kuberharap untuk bertemu denganMu

ya RABBI

Let's forgive

Don't you ever think..if you mad with someone...and you don't want to forgive them...
actually....you are bringing sth that you shouldn't along your life

making your life difficult....frustrating......full of hatred

and make yourself sick

no wonder Allah always mentioned to 'redha' whatever happens into your life

It just not about forgiveness...but also acceptance

ya..I admit..it's hard....but it allows me to move forward

If I were the one who make the mistake.....I'm also the one who desperately hoping for "forgiveness"



When deep injury is done to us
we never recover until we forgive
forgiveness doesn't change the past
but it does enlarge the future

- Mary Karen Read-
Final journal entry

Warisan

Anak kecil main api
terbakar hatinya yg sepi
air mata darah bercampur keringat
bumi dipijak milik org

nenek moyang kaya raya
tergadai seluruh harta benda
akibat sengketa diantara kita
kita lenyap di arus zaman

indahnya bumi kita
warisan berkurun lamanya
hasil mengalir ke tangan yg lain
kita kan merintih sendiri

jangan buat waktu lagi
majulah raih semua mimpi
hapuskan sengketa
teruskan usaha

kita kan gagah di nusantara
melayu kan gagah di pentas dunia

I don't know why, suddenly I remembered this lyric and try to find it in the youtube
I got to know this song when I was studying in MRSM muar
But now when I look at the lyric now I realized something that I think I should realized long time ago
But then, it just not about our race 'melayu' but our religion should be taken into consideration as well and it is MUST
Actually, when the feeling start to go down and I feel so weak
I start to seek somethings or someone to boost up the spirit

But then, I feel like my life hasn't been test enough by Allah, it just a little pieces of suffering,
and then I start to think am I suffered enough
definitely NOT
NOT YET
but then someone told me
after this
our life would not be easy
there are still a lot to be "harung"
so don't ever think you had enough

it just a beginning of your 'perjuangan'
please don't give up

Ya Allah, I ask for your forgiveness, your strength, and mercy...